My boyfriend is 22 and seriously hurting. He has broken up with me because he thinks he is being a burden. He has contacted me on and off the last day 24 hours but the moment I provide more support than I love you and will always be here for you.. he gets defensive. Otherwise, he talks a little about his problem. The desperation in his words are horrifying. Things he has told me and observation by me, my family and his.. he is depressed, sleeps all day 12-16 hours (he also has a horrible night auditor work schedule), is withdrawing from anyone who wants to help him figure out what is going on and has no interest in hardly anything any more.

This is not at all the boyfriend I knew. At times, he was a little lazy and temperamental but he never let anything bother him too bad. He worked out every day, we cooked healthy meals together, we loved up on each other, he was always sarcastic but now his sarcasm is just pure mean (to everyone). This isn’t a relationship issue. I’m worried about him more than I care about our relationship. He has stopped hanging with friends and was only hanging with me and his family some (who he lives with) until recently and he has pushed me away more and more. He keeps telling me he wants NORMAL. He’ll tell me to come over and kiss him to make him remember what NORMAL is.. he tells me not to let him let me go.. he tells me He doesn’t know what is happening or how to help.. and then when I try to help.. he pushes me away.

Me and his mom have been trying to think of anything (with the help of him when he lets out his issues). They were in a BAD car accident in July and it was very rough on him. He went through ups and downs but then in September he started to come out of it and was happy and voluntarily coming with me to church, working out, cooking, going on dates, hanging with people, etc.. Then he was laid off from a job he loved (one of the only times I’ve seen him cry). He got a new one two days later but he now works overnight 5 straight days in a row. He has had insomnia since his childhood and after his accident was put on ambien (which could possibly be making all of this worse). He is already a bit of an anxious guy and he’s running away from his problems (bills, getting back in school, fixing his car) by sleeping and pushing everything away. His doctor also put him on a trial run of Lexapro (anti depressant) about a month ago but it just made him numb to everything so he got off of it.

His mom is making a general doctor appointment for him to talk about things and the ambien situatuion. I think he is at least willing to do this. It is so hard to see someone drowning like this when just a month and a half ago he was just so happy. Any constructive advice would be greatly wanted.