I am 33yrs old and have been physically active for as long as I can remember. I go to the gym and take daily walks with the dog. Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 5 years. Over that time she has put on almost 60 LBS (was 165 is now 225+) I love and care for her beyond physical attraction and would like to see her healthy too. She talks all the time about wanting to lose weight or to do more activities. When she wants to do an activity I offer to join her. Regardless she quits within two weeks. I have tried to buy/cook healthy food for her only to see the fast food bags pile up in her car. Also have bought and paid for her gym membership to where I work out. I absolutely do not want to talk to her about it because we all know what happens when a guy does that. But this has got to a point that it is effecting a lot of things ie: Blemishes, acne, not being able to walk up stairs without wheezing, sex drive, how she feels about herself (low self esteem) how others feel about her. I cannot think of anything else that does not involve talking to her. What can I do? Any suggestions, or is this something I have to deal with???
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mrs.joejonas ♥ - said
September 5 2010 @ 02:12
well, i have to tell you, my initial thought was wow this guy must be a jerk.
but, i get your point. 60 freaking pounds is a lot for a woman to gain in five years. And its really not healthy. I dont know that talking to her about it will even do any good though. it seems you’ve done pretty much everything you can. Just try to keep her on schedule when she starts something. like, turn it into a date even. like, you could say, hey lets go jogging around(can be around the block, down town, whatever seems best) and i’ll pick you up at 5(or whenever) and keep her accountable! When yall go out to eat, suggest splitting a salad/soup combo thing, rather than the pasta, burgers, fries, etc.
hope this helps! Just remember to be nice about things, and let her know you’re only doing this because you really love and care for her, and that you’re not trying to be mean.
ryan - said
September 5 2010 @ 02:12
express that u need a partner in the gym, and that its for u not her, because then she will feel thats she is helping u not being forced to come workout. also have her make friends in the gym so she doesnt feel like an outcast and has other people besides you to push and help her.
mental - said
September 5 2010 @ 02:12
Sit her down for a romantic meal and spill the beans. Tell her you will do anything to help her. Just pray that she understands. I mean all you have to do is say that you love her regardless but that things need to change so you can live together forever..
Tara Marie - said
September 5 2010 @ 02:12
I’m a girl who actually gained a bit of weight while dating a guy so hopefully I can help you a little. First of all, you are being great about all of this. Your heart is definitely in this. Too bad her heart isn’t. It’s going to take some time but eventually she’ll come around. Until then, you just have to ride through this with her. It’s obvious that she WANTS to change & she knows how but she doesn’t have it in her heart. Yet. I know this is a shitty answer because you’re going to feel helpless but eventually something will snap. For me, I went to a public event & saw pictures of myself in the worst lighting. Most women tend to get a reality check when they see a picture of themselves. Good luck.
Matt - said
September 5 2010 @ 02:12
Talking to her straight out she would be very offended and you would be in trouble. You need to have her be your workout partner, or have her come with your every time. Offer lot’s of encouragement along the way. She may feel intimidated with you offering to go with her. Ask her to go with you to do something like let’s go for a walk, or bike ride or something like that. Slow down do not just leave her behind in order to keep your pace up. Make her lunch once in awhile or offer to do dinner and make it healthy.
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