Growing up, my family never ate healthy. Rarely did my mom bother cooking veggies bc she hates them. My father and I like them. My mom and i shopped a lot.. always going out to eat, eating high caloric foods. I learned to never expect to not go to eat when we went out. We might even swing my mcdonalds even after we’d eaten for a later snack. Growing up i was thin but i also obsessively exercised. I worked out 4 hrs a day.. burning upwards of 1300 calories per workout. A growing kid combined w lots of physical activity i was a very thin and muscular.
Now, as i have gotten older i have realized that my mother taught my whole family a lot of very bad eating habits. Rarely did she make an effort to cook healthy foods. Rather she preferred blands foods with little flavor… which probably promotes over eating.
Now into my twenties.. the rest of my family and i are all obese. My mother tells me its just that i need to exercise. And no, its not that i just need to exercise.. i cant possible work out the way i used to. I have learned to make poor choices.. its deeply engrained.
I feel resentful of the path she has set herself and the rest of the family on. I realize she doesnt hold a gun to our heads.. but this is about learned behavior. Do you believe a mother, has a responsibility to teach her children healthy eating even when they are already thin?
thanks for ur considerate responses.
Extra tags:
- are parents responsible over their kids 16,eating lite with kids,how to become a responsible parent in cooking,parents responsibility on children cooking,responsibility of childrens eating
Related Posts
- I'm 18, Why are my parents still trying to control my diet?
- Is anyone else sick of the television being blamed for the increased stupidty and obesity of our kids?
- I'm 18, Why are my parents still trying to control my diet?
- Would you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you didn’t like their mother?
- Would you break up with your boyfriend because you didn’t like his mom?
VoiceofCommonSenseâ„¢ - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
Yes, parents are fully responsible for their kids eating habits.
However once the kids become adults, they know right from wrong, and can prepare their own healthy meals. No more fast food, or greasy cooked meals.
paperhearts. - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
They are fully responsible. Children look up to their parents and the parents are the people who buy the food and make the rules.
Josephine - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
Well, with that logic, it’s not your moms fault, it’s her moms fault ….. then her moms, then her moms, etc.
At your age, you really can’t blame your mom anymore for your obesity. You know what’s healthy and what’s not.
My mom fed us tofu and soy and organic crap growing up. Do I eat that way now? nope.
K - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
"Rarely did she make an effort to cook healthy foods. Rather she preferred blands foods with little flavor…"
If you are an American of a certain age this is so mainstream that you can’t really crap on your mother for it. Check out cookbooks and magazines from your childhood era/area; likely she was bombarded with exhortations to buy, prepare, and serve bland starches and fats.
Patti - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
You are an adult now and can make your own choices. Your parents may have not set a good example or provided you with veggies. It takes a little time to change your eating habits but you can do it if you don’t automatically blame your parents when you mess up. I find that fasting for an entire day helps reset my appetite to a more healthy one. Even foods I normally don’t crave taste delicious when you are very hungry. And avoid processed foods with chemicals such as MSG and artificial sweeteners, they will actually stimulate your appetite and you will crave those foods more than healthy food.
I grew up on a farm and we raised our own fruits and vegetables rarely buying processed or junk foods, even a soft drink was a treat. We also did chores around the farm, helped in the garden and around the house but we were still chubby kids. Too many dairy products for one thing. I don’t blame my parents for my weight problems, they are all my own and I am adult and can choose what I eat. Being resentful is not a healthy attitude.
Leigh - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
yes, if parents pack their kids with junk, they wont see anything wrong with it and will continue that trend. when i was little me and my siblings were taught that we ate what was on our plates whether we liked it or not, simply because it was healthy for us, and we wouldnt be allowed to get up unless we did. now were all great eaters because even though we like unhealthy foods better, we still choose healthy foods over them because we know that its healthier and a bad taste wont hurt us but poor nutrition will, which is why it bugs me when i see parents catering to their kids and hiding healthy foods into other foods so they will be tricked into eating it, its not teaching the right message. its the same with people who only serve unhealthy foods, a 6 year old cant go out and get her own dinner, so shes forced to eat what shes given, and that will put her on the wrong path. even if the child isnt overweight, there are still things like cholesterol and diabetes to think of. thats why i think people should serve mainly healthy foods, whether their kid likes that food or not, so they can learn good eating habits, and teach their kids that unhealthy foods should only be eaten in moderation.
April - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
There has to come a time when a child grows up & takes responsibility for themselves & their actions. Your mom was ignorant as to what to feed you, but you are now an adult. Saying that this is deeply ingrained is a ‘cop out’. My mom did the same with me, but I made the choice to change. You’re only in your twenties. Get up off of that couch. Exercise & buy some healthy food. I will grant you that it does take time to change bad habits, but it can be done. Join a health club & make some friends, or just take a daily walk around the block. The more you do these things, the easier they will become. It’s your choice now. You can vegetate & keep blaming mommy, or you can change for yourself & your future children. I have the feeling that you’re not going to like my answer, but it’s the truth. Sure, it would have been nice of your mom to learn these things earlier, but you have the chance to do this now for yourself & your future little ones. Get started & be proud of yourself for your efforts, instead of playing the blame game.
Hi_Jack - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
My neighbour Kay, she used to eat Mcdonalds a lot mostly everyday a week. When she met a man who was rich and she tried to have his kid as soon as they met and she got pregnant. They broke fast like her Mcdonalds but she gets huge money from him for kid regulary and she started learning a cooking class by that money as she was so poor to cook and noone wanted to eat her foods really. She also starts ordering organic foods and now she says that she can’t believe people who doesn’t eat organic foods. I guess as long as she gets a large sum of money from kid’s father, she will keep her big mouth about foods but if she was not able to get those money……Mcdonalds.
Shannon - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
You can place the blame for a little while, but in the end it is up to you to change how you eat and your lifestyle. My mom rarely cooked a meal, she usually just made mac and cheese from the blue box or some other processed junk. When she left, my dad didn’t know what to do either, so we rarely had a nice fresh meal. (Sometimes we did have things like spaghetti or pork chops. I was taught how to make meatloaf around age 10, so we had that too.)
Anyway, I got past blaming them for my issues. I was skinny as a teen so I just ate whenever I wanted to and nobody stopped me. But the blame at this point of my life (I’m 25) is no longer theirs. It is a hard step to change your eating and exercising habits, but you can do it. I taught myself how to cook so many different and fresh meals for my family. I have learned about portion sizes and portion control. I have looked up recipes that are kid friendly for my children. There are still some things I can get confused about and sometimes I relapse into all day chocolate modes, but overall my eating habits are my own habits now.
And now, as a parent, I will make sure that my kids understand certain things so that they do not have to have such a hard time, like I do. We cook together, and when they are older, I will teach them how to cook for themselves.
Bookwarm - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
Parents aren’t perfect, they don’t do everything right. Every adult’s parents did something in a less than ideal way, however adults are still responsible for their actions.
mustangsah - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
Yes, I do believe it’s the mother’s responsibility to teach her young (and occasionally husband) how to eat properly and healthy. The mother creates a HUGE amount of behavior patterns in her children. However, I also think it is possible to overcome poor training with correct training, though it will likely be much harder than if it was just done right in the first place.
Elizabeth - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
4 hours a day of exercise really isn’t healthy, it’s excessive. Now you’re obese? The concept of "moderation" doesn’t seem to resonate with you.
Adults with poor eating habits have no one to blame but themselves. It’s not rocket science. If you eat crap, you feel like crap. If you eat healthy, you feel good. Nothing "promotes" overeating, it’s just poor willpower.
seren_zen - said
August 16 2010 @ 14:26
I believe it is the responsibility of a parent to feed their children healthy and well balanced meals from the time they start to eat till they are out of the home or 18 I guess I should say.
But your eating habits after that are YOUR responsibility.
I feel for you, I do. Because my mother was the EXACT same. I swear to god I do not know how I am so healthy and did not end up with 5 different types of cancers. Because all we ate was processed and frozen and canned foods. Growing up I never ate breakfast because my mom never made us breakfast, I would get dropped off at preschool having not eaten and I would take the bus in elementary without having eaten. So by the time it was lunch time I was famished and would over eat and always had poor energy in the early morning and would sleep in class.
I probably ate a veggie 5 times a year because they were never served to us. And anything and everything we ate from toddler-hood till we were 18 came out of a can or the freezer or a take out window.
It instilled VERY poor eating habits in me. But after I left home I started to realize my nutrition was my responsibility. And though the way I was fed growing up deeply impacted me for life, I was an adult and in control of my own life. I could not so much as cook mac n cheese because all I ever knew growing up was the microwave. The microwave was used for any hot meal in my home. I swear we used the oven about once every few months and the stove top about the same. So I was a disaster in the kitchen. But I kept it up and am still not the best cook but have gotten better. I educated myself on health eating habits and my son WILL NOT be fed the way I was.
Studies show healthy eating habits actually start even before birth, babies can taste what you eat in the womb via the amniotic fluids. And then after birth the foods you eat flavor your breast milk and then all through childhood what you feed them will stick with them for life. If you raise your child to reach for the fruit juice over the soda and the apple over the bag of candy, or the veggies over the fries, then that is how they are likely to eat all through out their lives.
So I understand why you feel she is responsible and why you resent her. But at the same time now you are an adult and you are responsible for your own life.
I highly suggest that you learn how to cook healthy meals full of flavor. No one wants to eat something bland… But healthy meals do not have to taste bad or not taste like anything at all. And stock your kitchen with whole grains. Replace white rice with brown, instant oats with steel cut, white breads with whole grain breads. Avoid shopping when you’re hungry to avoid impulse buying, and get yourself a good cook book.
I will never do to my son what my mother did to me in the nutrition department. It is okay to let your kids indulge every now and then and treat them here and there. But I could never allow myself to feed my child the way you and I were fed growing up. It is irresponsible and just plain unhealthy.